Here I come, my block turn is here, as all bloggers know, it is something we fear it will catch up with us, it often does, sooner or later.

Mine is here, it came, it seems to have built a villa just to tell me “hey buddy, I aint going nowhere”. I welcomed it at first, the african me smiled and said, Ok, I will host it then chase it as soon as possible. I didn’t.

You see, it is this thing that gets to you when you want to write a blog, that prevents you from doing it, sucks up all the intelligence in you, all the writing techniques that you have…. Hmmmmm, and once it comes it refuses to leave.

I have reasons. One is because I suddenly got busy and hardly have time to do anything. It’s crazy but yes, one can get really busy, such that at 11:45 pm, you go like…….have I had dinner? I think so, well time to sleep, tomorrow very early I need to, be at work (or in school). Then you remember  that not all your schoolwork i s done, yet it is needed for the next day…. one more hour of study, hasty revision or homework….it makes me think of highschool. I was much organized then , or I simply had less things to do. Today of course,things have changed.

My second reason is that my society, the present one, is just not my thing….you see, I spent all my life in Africa, Europe is one other thing. Some may call this culture shock. Culture shock? I have been here for years, so screw culture shock, I call it culture rebellion. I used to hang out with “these people” back then when I just knew them, life was funny and cool. When you get to learn then more, you are left wondering what on earth creeps in your  young mind to want to spend time with them. Not everyone of them, of course.

I watch TV and I tell myself, oh shit I will bury my head, there’s no way people who watched that will see me, oh Africa, I LOVE you but….One of them was a short documentary on people in Northern Kenya who have to kill each other for water….those who are not open-minded must be scared of Kenyans. I was almost convinced too when I remembered that I was Kenyan ….

Often I see  children carrying guns……….and they say “In Africa, children of 8 carry guns, and shoot”

Or  “poverty and AIDS are wildly consuming the poorest continent”

It is true, but is that really what Africa is made of? Poverty, AIDS and civil wars? I believe that we have other things than that…

Hope my blog block leaves me soon.

I am searching for Price charming. The one who resembles one who would fall from the sky. The one I would see and say that he is perfect, good-looking, but not excess, polite but not too much, protective but not exergerrated.

Yes, Pince Charming.

He will listen to me and not cut me off when I talk, look at me in the eyes and not lie to me.

I expect him to have confidence in me. In those cases where I will cheat on him, he will trust all my crap that my cousin( I have over hundred, so he will not have to ask which one) called me bacause he damn needed a baby sitter. He will not follow me to find out what I am doing.Since I am allergic to footsteps. He will not ask me suspicious questions. I cannot bear them.

He will be tender and romantic. He will take me out on picnics. He will drink and smoke if he wants, under the condition that I will also do the same.Imean what I want.

He will shut up when I want him to, he will talk, and no nonsense will be allowed.

He will never, or rarely meet my parents and family. He will do it only on funerals to support and encourage me, and in weddings to drive me home when I am drunk.

He will never ask me to add weight, and worse still to lose weight. He will never ask me to throw away my old jeans, or to think not of my sneakers, but only put on high heeled shoes even on Saturdays!

The number of times he will invite me to restaurants for lunch or dinner, will be superior than the number or times I will buy him drinks and coffee.

He will read “Men Come from Mars and Women come From Venus”, just to try to understand the other sex. He will understand that we were not brought up by the same mother and that the two of us are compeletely different.

The list is long.

If you have these aspects, or friends, family and relatives, enemies too who posess them, keep in touch.

Post vacant, intake immediate.The earlier the better.

The other day Our Prime Miniser was around, and I had the opportunity to shake his hand.

But I also had the possiblity to see more! I saw HIM, I saw kenyans, I saw things.

I had no excitement to see the Prime Minister, oh sorry, my Prime Minister.

But practically everyone did , no this is a lie. A majority of the troop apparently did, photos, photos photos, handshakes, more photos. “Oh, am so happy, I took a photo with him!” was said a lot. I did not.

But this Prime Minister guy intrigued me, he is a good diplomat, I loved that.

And he smiled to us all, but a tired smile, a very tired face. Which I understand, he is busy, and he had to leave for other functions. We were going to have lunch with him and get to discuss a bit. Lunch? No he left  after sipping coca cola, and another drink, an orange juice I suppose.

In between he gave a speech, he has a pretty good sense of humour, but Kenyans seem thirstier for laughter. Every single sentence made some of them laugh. It was annoying, even more annoying was that it was a particular group of girls with a particular girl who had a particular laughing style. I bit my lower lip all through the speech to calm myself, she was getting into my nerves!

An opportunity to ask questions came, equality demands, ratio of one to one(1:1), men to women. It was clearely stated, thirty seconds for each question and one question per person, in this case they never state how long the answer will take, anyway, what matters is spending”quality” time with the Prime Minister. I had at least two important questions, everone always does,but some people are good in these things, they sit in the first row, just oppostite the high table(oh no they stand, we did not sit!) This chance go to mediocre questions, you leave the place wondering why you ever set foot there.

There were lots of appetizers in the room, nothing odd, we were there for lunch, with the Prime Minister.

I did not see him leave the room, I was busy discussing with a friend and a new made friend, he lived in Kenya for sometime……..what must have made him Kenyan, or what on earth could he be doing in a Kenyan function? But he was interesting. I gave hime my contacts, still waiting for him to get back to me. He seemed to adore the Prime Minister. I told him that I was not so political, and had no opinion about him. We changed topics, why am Carol and not anything else, why there are more Kate, Lily, Tracy, and barely any Anyango, Chebet or Wangari. To make us uniform, one, was my reply.And that is how I missed the Prime Minister’s depature from the room.

We were left with a whole load of stuff, just to put you in a good appetite, then the rest will be completed in respective homes……..

He was around for dinner, in a Four Star restaurant, this time the list of thosse invited was extreemly strict. The meal must have been real too. Thank you for the visit ,Prime Minister. Thank you for coming with some ministers, I saw them too, but I can’t remenber shaking their hands, did I?

And that is how I had lunch with my Prime Minister the other day.

This could be a true story, like most of my posts,or not, but does not allow any one to judge me on it, pleeeeeaaase!

 

Earlier today, I was preparing to leave my appartment, I was in no rush, so I took my time with the make up and stuff, when my phone rang.

Whenever it is someone on my phone repertoire, I react accordingly, not pick at all, answer immediately or let pass a few seconds…………

This time it was not the case, it was not a cell phone; most Land line calls are job offers and who would resist to salary rise in this tough world?

I picked and here it went,between the other person,( lets call her woman) and myself,(lbl)

Woman: Hi,my name is Woman(Don’t worry she gave her name)

Upon hearing it, I froze,wtf? Why would this family name call me?? I was asking myself..

Lbl:Ahh……..yes. I was hesitating, not knowing what to expect.By this time I was sure it was no job offer.She went on..

Woman:Tell me what are you doing with my husband?

LBL: What do you mean your husband, who is he?

She gave his name, but from the time she told me hers, I was sure it was him.

Now here is the the thing, I contested having anything to do with the guy, I even went telling her how I had a boyfriend and how I was happy and satisfied in my love life. I suggested to her to talk to the husband because I had a clear conscience, she refused and asked me to keep off her husband..My God, am I that nasty, do I go breaking couples? I have never thought of myself like that, normaly, a married man is automatically out my my game, he simply loses his charm…….what I know is that he belongs to someone else and can never belong to me, I do not believe in unfaithfulness,I always say, any unfaithful person should be condemned to lonelines, no more dates,no more love and no more sex.

The question is, what was it between me an the Woman’s Husband?

I met him at one diplomatic function, I did not know him, but I learned  that he works at an embassy…….again in a wedding, he asked for my number, I gave him(what is wrong with that?)……., I ran into him down the streets, this big city is small finaly……..we  thought of meeting again………..he suggested going for a weekend, I hesitated, not to offend him, I chose silence, till the day I received his mail, I replied, he text me, I replied, we fixed a rendezvous, for lunch. This was cool with me, He does not please me,hope he’s not in for anything.

The lunch was cool, learned  a bit about him, asked aech other questions, then, bye-bye. Out of courteousness, I sent him a text message, saying thanks for the lunch. He replied almost immediately with a”welcome”. A week or so later, he calls, I do not pick…three days after, why the silence, a message(sms) then a proposition to go out of the city for a weekend again. This time I reply. “I am ok, how about you? Have a lovely week”……..I ignore his weekend offer, again. It was aound 11 pm when I sent him this.

For a married man, he must be home with his wife. But to be sincere I had no idea that he had a wife, he is not young but I thought he should have informed me or something.

Here I must precise that he is African. The wife too, I suppose, and from her accent too.

So the woman said:

“Yes you say nothing, yet you go for lunch together?? You send him messages??”

I only defended myself by asking her if my messages were suspicious, no! But she refuses to listen to e, I told her that it was stupid of her……..

 I told her that I simply reply, in  most cases to his messages, but had no queer intetions, and to add to that I was not aware he was married. That is when she went,

Now you know it,he is my husband and keep away!”

All I said was that I was sorry for the misunderstanding and that I was not and would never be interested in anyway by the husband.

I was about to mention that he was twice my age and that I was not that type of girl, but according to her, having lunch with him is something already.

She refused to ask him about me, she goes around spying his phone……….

And minutes ago, the man in question sends me an sms:Hi, how is the going?Talk to me! You do not talk much!

I choose silence, I would not call him to inform him this…….. but I refuse to dance to his music.

No wonder some couples are never happy, can’t people communicate between themselves?

I have to be clear from the beginning, I love kids, I adore them.

Children are so tender, so sincere, so harmless, they are angels.

AT times I try to contemplate how the world would be if we were all kids, I cannot figure it out. Who can anyway?

But now the worry is, everyone, and I mean it, my entire entourage is getting one. Right from family to friends, passing through neigbours and former classmates.

What is happening? Has it been announced(what I must have missed) that baby making is now or never?

I am begining to question my biological clock. Is it the retarted type……the one that goes till late 30s then it realizes that it is time to do something.

I have no problem with that, my fears are two, one , these studies that show that giving birth at 20s is the most advised, because,according to them; the system is most active! Two is that I will be breast feeding when my entourage will be sending their kids to play in the gardens, and they will be attending parties and evenings while the kids are in bed…….or with a baby sitter……..

But in order to get a baby, there has to be ‘the other one’. What should I go for? Long nose?  Muscles? Intelligence? Money(no one wants to reproduce with a poor man after all!)

I can date almost every kind of man, bad boys, not-so-funny type, not rich type(a bank account is essential even if it is almost dry, all time party, like the one on our way to a night club who decided to stay in the boot, or these that know how to have fun and amuse others, apparently it is a very fruitful sport!Lg

 

NOw am putting into account the fact that I should have a baby too………….advice from mothers and experts highly encouraged!

 

It all started when I was 13, the year I was idle, when I had no books piled in front of my desk. That is when I had time to discover myself, what I liked to do and what kind nof stuff passioned me.

That is  when Michael Jackson and his music became part of me. My elder brothers had his music, they saw how bored I seemed all alone, and brought me two discs, Bad and Thriller. My days changed. From 8:30 am when everyone left the house, these two discs occupied my time. I played them at high blast, the advantage of my home is that neighbours are like miles away that they never notice that the volume of the music is so high, no one ever complained, unlike what would happen if I did the same in my present appartment.

I would play and replay them. Over the weekend, my brothers would come  back, and find me so deep in his music. One of them, the elder one told me “you know that there are loads and loads of  other singles, great hits that you should listen to.” I was sure of that , but I was so attatched to those I was listening to. I was not ready to let go, I did not want more. It was as if setting free the bird that I had in hand, and  with great fear that it would not come back to me. That was MJ’s music in me.

My brothers were impressed, they had never seen so much passion in me to discover music.They knew it would keep me busy, but not to the point of  being my all day occupation.

I naturally learned some singles by heart. I then played them and sung with him, in unison, my voice horse and nasty, not worth listening to, but it suited me so. I was home, alone drowned in MJ’s music, not even my own self would listen to my voice. My aim was singing along to the tune.

Later on, I listened to more of his music and watched his clips.

I tried dancing, the moon walk, but I failed. Who lied that all blacks are good dancers and capable of learning dancing styles so easily? I am a living proof that no!

In high school, I realized that not only did most of my fellow classmates knew little about him but also that some of them disliked him.

Why would anyone like or dislike anyone because of their ups and downs, that was high school,we were young; but even now,I hear people go like “oh, no, he is ugly;look at him; he looks pathetic.”  Just on looking at his physical traits.

I refuse to see people despise him because his skin changed gradually; I would like that he remains appreciated for what he brought to us, the music he fed us with, it was the love he gave to the enitire world, and his music will remain with us!

Thank you for those singles, those great hits that still linger; that the entire world appreciates!

Rest in Paece Michael!

Their share of the cake, lawyers recieved it too. Who said the bitter cake is only for the less fortunate in the society? And that only manual workers are those who go through painful sacking?

In my endevous to visit Kenya over summer, I decided to search for a job, I am not going to ask my parents for financial aid this time round, not with all the support (more of moral than financial)they give throughout the academic year.

So I opted to keep in touch with old employers, those I parted with smiling and promising to go back once my books don’t take  me too fast anymore. Books have never taken me fast in the past, they are not about to.

So a few weeks back, one of them called me, Thank goodness I did not have to stoop low and call her myself. I refuse to swallow my dignity.I used to  work for her last year. Her main problem was her money, she was too rich to notice that I was not there for life and that I had ambitions too, that the end of my nose was not the limit of my imaginations. So I came up with this reason, that every student should adopt in order to escape from any employer who seems to cling too hard to them.The year ahead will be a tough one, that no time can be spared for part time jobs. That Parents back home are so lovely, so understanding that they will cater for fees, rent,food and transport for the year. That immediately things get better, they will be back working for them, bearing in mind that if possible,they will never set eyes on them. Mine worked. For sure I did not work for the first few months, it was the time I needed to get something else, plus I also wanted to breathe, work, work and more work is just not my thing!

So the call came in, I picked up and pretended to be very busy, so we fixed an appointment for a Sunday,two weeks after. BTW, for those who don’t know, the French are excelent in fixing appointments. No bumping into someone’s house because after all they are friends, or because you know each other so well that you do not even have to call, no!It is the same thing for the Doctor, you are sick but the guy will take an appointment, so if you always have a three day homa, you will see the Doctor seven days later, when you will be well! That is the french system and it seems untouchable!

So back to this lady, we had our “meeting”  in a Chinese restaurant. Why not simply stay home for half an hour or so, instead of going to a restaurant five minutes away? Well I told her that the year was well. She did not waste time to propose “something” for me for next year, I was hesitant! I had said that I passed well, so according to her, next year I would do even better. Who is she to tell that? She even went further to ask me if I had a boyfriend. Through out last year, I was single, apparently, it was not mormal, or so it seemed. I turned “red” or whatever coulour we Blacks turn to when we are embarassed. Damn you, damn you, “yes, I do” I told her, then I imagined an Electronic Technician  or something of the sort. It must have worked bacause the next thing I heard, was “wow, I am happy for you!”.

Now to her. She explained that she lost her job! What, that is now a bad surprise! With all the money she used to earn, she would act like she was going to have it eternally! I felt bad, and deep down my heart,I was sorry and told her that I hoped she would get a new law firm.

So when people are being sacked and I see them on Tv, it seems too far, but when I met someone who just ended jobless, I realize that no one, really no one is immune, from this financial crisis.

I would however love to know how things are in Kenya, now that joblessness has been our problem for decades.