October 2008

Well,it was time I did it.There is no way I will just brush off my feelings,my heart’s desires.

He is haunting me…………!!!!!!!!

I took my cell phone and went on to scroll his number down the repertoire.

I had nothing to lose,maybe just maybe,a little bit of dignity but that’s all.

I had a damn crush on him………people do,why not me……….he is hot………why wouldn’t I?

I have reasons why I had to.One is because what I felt and still feel for that matter, is real.Am not talking of the short time, and part time lovers,no.Mine was concrete.And am almost certain that he feels the same too.

Two,to add to that is the fact that my phone is the worst thing hat I ever owned,I cannot erase a number that I have saved.So its motto is: Once in,Never out!

I dialed,I was determined,but before I heard anything on the other end, my cellphone rang.


Last evening as I went home,I dropped by Mc-Donalds to buy a milk shake as usual.Normally I take strawberry flavour,but yesterday was different.Apart from the fact that I love change,a friend had convinced me that the vanilla one is way too sweet.So I opted for the vanilla flavoured milkshake.

As I went there, a man walked toward me and did not even bother to make way,not for me but for the two of us to walk normally.The pavement was not so small,but I was as the side of the wall,so I could not hug the wall just for a certain monsieur to pass.He walked straight,did not bother who or what was ahead of him.At least as far as I noticed.I skived him slightly,but he hit me and went on,I was so mad.I turned and waited for him to excuse himself as we all do,you know.But no,he did not turn back.I was pissed off.

I wanted to go home straight away but this milkshake crave,I could not get over it. So I overlooked that brual man’s  thing and moved on,as usual.Worse things happen,no?If I were in Kenya,I would ask him,practically to say sorry.To excuse himself at least!I used to.In other cases,I would shout “sura mbaya wewe”(Ugly)That would calm down the macho.But last evening,I was not in Nairobi.

I bought my thing and got into a subway.I chose to stand.I always do especially when I do not have many stops.Next to me were these two young guys,hardly twenty.Yes very young.They were talking,I did not pay attention to their conversation but they were happy.They talked gaily.

As I almost finished my milkshake,there is the foam,just at the bottom,of course, it was at the top but has been descending as I drunk with the straw.There is something I like about the foam,its just a nice sensation in the mouth.

I looked down,just where this boys were seated and ,helas!saliva.He has been spitting right there.I was clearing my milkshake,I could not,the foam…..the saliva…I just felt like trowing up.I was pissed off.

Am not sure but if I was in Kenya,I would tell someone “wacha kutema ovyo ovyo” or better still “stop spitting ,its disgusting!” Of course there are no subways in Nairobi,I imagine it would be in a bus! I would not have hesitated,but I was not in Nairobi,or any Kenyan town for that matter.

When I got off, I was on the phone in a hurry to have diner.I was hungry.I passed by a café.I was on the phone,so I was not really looking ahead of me,I was concentrated on my telephone conversation. I blame it, because I walked too close to this guy. I did not see that he was holding a cigarette.As if by coincidence, just as I walked next to him he blew a curl of soot right into my face.I was pissed off.

And yes,we all say that The French are romantic.Will someone tell me how?

The paradox of things……..!